If we have spoken, Thank You!

My name is Jeff and I am in recovery for numerous things. It is my belief that all of my issues are trauma related. I spend most of my time in isolation, I connect with very few people privately and most of them only speak to me for a short time. I am hypersensitive and become very unpleasant when I sense I am being judged, steered or questioned. I know I have issues and what they are, I also know how to treat them. Mostly I treat my conditions by constantly questioning myself and when other people intervein in that process, I lose trust in them quickly. I enjoy the people who relate to me and being around others who are still struggling. I do not enjoy being around people who are doing really well and are happy all the time. Many times when people are doing better than we are, they come under the illusion that they ARE better than we are and therefore have the right to voice their opinion about where we are in life. When that happens to me, I generally block those people and begin the process of decoding my trigger and why I let what they said get to me. For anyone who has trusted me and shared part of their traumas with me, I need to say thank you and bless you. Even if we only spoke once and for a short time, I am grateful. Being trusted by others has become the most important part of my recovery. It brings out the best in me when I can be nonjudgmental and safe for someone else. The only people I really speak to are either in recovery or a very small group of family and friends (one hand). I can be judgmental. I do not enjoy that part of myself. I was raised judgmental and slowly learned, it only causes harm, there are no benefits to the behavior at all. To paraphrase on the words of a divine source, if we judge then we will be judged. The divine source does not judge and so it presented us with a formula. Judge not lest ye be judged, if you judge you will be judged... only humans judge. Forgive me for the times I have judged, it is a behavior I am willing to let go of. Thank you and best wishes. Rev. Jeff Rounds of Mixed Recovery, Inc.