my daily reflections…

sharin things that were in my darkest closets was a very scary proposition. i kept these things hidden and well fed. they were behaviors i refused to do because i thought not doin em kept me safe, warm, and comfortable. to start doin these behaviors meant i had to really look at them and make em a part of my daily life; these were my shortcomins, the shit i should have been doin but wasnt. after thoughtful prayer and wantin to be healed i made the decision to finally look at em, start doin em, and ask Him to help me make em a part of my life. sometimes, i dont want to do these healthy behaviors, gratefully i know who to ask to help me so i may feel the sense of humility i never had in the past. while i was drinkin in my later days i was, ALWAYS, feelin like i was gittin pinched by someone or somethin. i always thought, THEY, were always pickin on me whoever, THEY, were. i thought, THEY, should just automatically know who i was and should automatically do whatever i wanted without a word said. havin this always in my head made fer continual disturbance and frustration within, with only 1 way, i thought, to cure it. there was no peace fer me unless i was so drunk i couldnt walk or even speak. i learned through this thing we do, i had it all wrong, i should have been the one givin, not always takin. today i know peace; i feel peace within, and actually try to give peace. prayer and meditation each mornin prepare me fer my day ahead, i give my day to Him and expect nothin from others. these actions each mornin set me up fer tranquility throughout my day. 1 day @ a time…