my daily reflections…

it is important fer me to know why i may experience normal negative feelins. sure, i can blame the asshole that just cut in line in front of me and react in a negative way towards them, but i need to look at why this angered me, what was i tryin to get, or do, that their act caused me anger? these normal human reactions are what i know best. its like this with any emotional discomfort i may feel, self-entitlement, loneliness, self-pity, false pride, remorse, any 1 of em, the list goes on and on. when i am able to take an honest look at myself and figure out the root causes of these disturbances to my emotions i am able to better deal with, or manage, em, ya know facin my fears. my HP helps me to get to root causes that cause these. all i have to do is use the strength, courage, and willingness He has provided, to look at me. lookin at the ways i conduct behaviors toward others as i interact with em is an essential part of my understandin how to not let hidden expectation become demand. these lil nuances of manipulative or controllin thought that turn into behavior can be very detrimental to my sobriety. i must look deep within, daily, to find the lil disturbances that turn into big fears which eventually turn into even worse, resentment. this is where the true stability of my recovery comes from, its never the common shit, the big stuff that shows up immediately. i have found those, and with my HPs help, have positive actions fer em. its the lil ones i need to dig out from within and give to my HP daily. i need to clear out these unhealthy dependencies by usin the spiritual principles of this thing we do. surrenderin each demand/character defect/shortcomin to my HP and walkin from it. it is when im able to do this i am then free, and peace, love, forgiveness, serenity, and humility, begin to flow outward from within. 1 day @ a time…