my daily reflections…

oh, the kickin, fightin, and screamin i did within to try to work the steps the way i wanted to. in the end it just wasnt gunna happen the way i wanted it to. i had to finally concede to the fears i held within and trust the process as scary as it seemed. it came to where i just said, im done, what do i gotta do. i still continue to give it to my HP every day because i know it wont work my way. halfway through, just as the 9th step promises say, i began to finally get relief from the torture i had been puttin myself through. i can remember wonderin what to do with myself, i had never ever really experienced inner peace of this nature. at first i was scared and many of the old fears started to creep into my mind. i had to focus and remember what my sponsor and others had said, its ok to just be. i look back on those early times in recovery and remember how the discovery of new feelins, like honest, wholesome, peace, were. today i am thankful fer them as i continue to experience new pieces of me each day. recovery has been fer me, as suggested, a priceless gift. 1 day @ a time…