my daily reflections…

gettin sober was a big thing fer me. within a short amount of time the chaos that surrounded me settled down. i found the less i caused it, the less there was. it was an amazin feelin. unfortunately, even as shit settled, i still had to contend with me; my mind still raced. i couldnt seem to make it stop. i was still thinkin the same shit as i always had while out doin my dirt. i feared the more i continued to think the same shit, the faster i would drink again. i needed to surrender and stop tryin to make shit work the way i wanted. as i listened and watched in the rooms, i seen people who were actually calm and reserved. the way i wanted to be. one day my sponsor suggested i start behavin differently than i ever had before. he told me if i was to do this, my thinkin would slow down and begin to change, reflectin the action i was doin. it was a start toward acceptin the alcoholism that had encompassed my life. even as stoppin drinkin was a big help, i needed to continue forward and begin where i was. 1 day @ a time...