my daily reflections…

the lengths and depths i would go to so i could protect my inner bein, today, i feel are incomprehensible. to allow anybody to get the drop on me or truly know who i really was, were guarded and kept locked tight. these were areas none dare see or ever peer into. the tangled web of misery, self-torment, hate, frustration, guilt, anger, and self-delusion were fer nobody to ever have the knowledge of. resentment and fear kept me from becomin the person i wanted and needed to be fer myself. the big book says, “no words can tell of the loneliness and despair i found in that bitter morass of self-pity. quicksand stretched around me in all directions”. this thing we do taught me how to surrender to all of this. it taught me how i didnt ever have to hide from these emotions again. i learned how to surrender to em, accept em, and face em with courage so i no longer had to fight. 1 day @ a time...