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to understand i had been held trapped by a disease i didnt understand while steeped in the mire of it, was a monstrously huge development fer me. breakin free from the grip of my alcoholism helped me refocus the opportunities i had been given; they didnt have to involve alcohol anymore. with the spiritual courage and strength i felt like i was gettin from my HP, i felt like i didnt have to live dishonestly and try to hide shit from people. the weight of shame, anger, self-torment, fear, and hate began to lessen, allowin some emotional healin to start. the negativity within, which i always felt, creatin all the guilt, regrets, and self-loathin, when i tried to manage em honestly with the slow progress of behavioral self-improvement, seemed to leave me. i began to feel like i could be me, less embarrassed by who i was. these psychological freedoms are what i think of when ev read this daily and recognize today, this is when i began to love myself. 1 day @ a time...

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