my daily reflections…

if there was a fear i had in my early recovery, and before, it was a fear of lookin within and takin on me. i loved to tell people i wasnt afraid of any man, what i didnt tell em was how scared i was of myself. if it wasnt fer the prior 3 steps, much conference with my sponsor and other newly trusted friends in recovery, i couldve NEVER had the courage to make a searchin and fearless moral inventory of myself. essential was the honesty i was still learnin from step 1. necessary was the hope i gleaned from others as they showed how step 2 was workin in their lives. and indispensable was the trust and relationship of the newly generated connection of faith from step 3 with my HP. see i had tried these steps without the guidance of a sponsor in prior attempts to get sober, and failed each time coz i thought i could circumvent the order with which i did em. it NEVER worked, i got drunk again. this last time, humblin myself and bein truly willin to take direction in the order the steps were originally layed out, i get to look within when ev im challenged to. 1 day @ a time...