my daily reflections…

essential to the process at this stage of my development toward a new and different way of life was the relationship between my sponsor and i. comin from a place where trust could not be had with anyone, formin this new understandin of confidence with another meant i had to be willin to give someone else the secrets which kept me behaviorally, emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually sick. it was truly a fearful situation fer me, but the memories of the life i had written before me in my 4th step, had to be let loose, less i continue toward the bitter end. the time i had spent with my sponsor prior to this tellin, most def helped me in creatin a trusted connection with him. lettin loose all the shit i had written down, as soon as i had started, it just flowed from me. i had to give it all away as i had come to a point where i understood if i didnt, i knew what was to follow. i reckon, if there is such a thing, a healthy fear of livin that way of life, doin my dirt, had finally become somethin i couldnt fight against anymore. after that sunday mornin, havin went back to the halfway house i was livin at, a sense of freedom began to emerge within. it was to be a feelin of true independence i had not ever felt before. 1 day @ a time...