my daily reflections…

havin left my sponsor with all my shit, needin to take a deep ass breath, over the next few days, i feel the sense of relief, and then the sudden rush of worry lettin another into my world brought. i felt a sense of healthy release, but also the self-induced feelin of loss of control. i mean, i had told another shit i had never meant to allow another to know. ego was ridin high in anxiety, wantin me to run and hide from the dreamt up consequences. so where was the trust i had started buildin? this was a spot where i had to genuinely use this newly formed piece of recovery, faith, and confidence, less i return to that next 1st drink, restartin the days of doin my dirt i had so gratefully left behind. today i get to use this learned lesson in my daily life. i get to give the shit away to my HP, and sponsor, when times come which lay my ego and pride wide open to fear. i get to rest in place emotionally and psychologically, understandin the only one i can control is myself. 1 day @ a time...