my daily reflections….

fear, which ever form it takes, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of rejection, losin my identity, or fear of perpetual misery, may sound simple to others, but fer me they are paralyzin. one of my biggest fears is not havin control of what is goin on around me or within me. there is comfort in the familiar even when the familiar is far from ideal. but this step, step 5, involves lettin loose of all these fears mentioned, especially the want to control shit. its like if i keep it to myself i get to play with it and mold it into whatever i want it to be. with this step i get to feel emotions and breathe through it without resistin it or tryin to change it. havin learned what honesty, hope, faith, and courage mean to me in recovery, i get to use each to gain some inner personal integrity by givin my fear to God and another person so its let go of. it boils down to my willingness to want what i truly need, a different lifestyle, better than the one left behind in the days of doin my dirt. i have to be eager to use trust in the proper action ive learned to take and be prepared to let life pass as it will. i aint gotta keep unhealthy old ideas, morals, or philosophies, i get to learn how to build new ones which are healthy and beneficial for me and those around me. 1 day @ a time...