spiritual maturity comes to me when i use what i have learned through personal inventory to make changes within that have positive, balanced, healthy affects in my action, behavior, and thinkin. when the realization of the changes ive made start to become who i am, feelin a deep debt of gratitude and a deep sense of loyalty to a better self, i get to live a life that is wholesome and rightful. its been my experience, as i live my recovery daily, that when my heart is right, my world will be right. i cannot change the things outside of me, but i can change the things within. and ive learned, its not so much what happens to me that defines me, its how i use it to accept, and conform, with healthy balance and surrender. when i am strong enough within, i find that the world outside of me has improved as i have improved within. it didnt come to me on day one of my surrender, it has only come as i have taken the time to work on the strange mental twists and obsessions that drive my emotional, psychological, and spiritual maladys. as i have grown the relationship i have with my HP, carryin the image of Him and the power of His creative spirit, ive gained the confidence to stop doubtin myself, thereby strengthenin the powerlessness and unmanageability low self-esteem creates within. as i continue to live just for today, just for this moment, freein myself of the burdens my thoughts bring me of things that are past, i persevere through the day with courage and integrity. by not concernin myself with tomorrow, or yesterday, better usin what i have today, the more likely it is that my future will be bright and the past doesnt have the ability to create distortions that have the effect of creatin the illusion of present fears. when i pocket my pride and go through each day usin what my HP and recovery has given me, i get to let fear fall from me. feelin the nearness of my HP, the spiritual awareness i get to live becomes the livin part of my spiritual experience. i get to look the world in the eye with perfect peace of mind and ease. why wouldnt i want to continue to receive and grow these gifts throughout my lifetime? these are the gifts of hard work within and perseverance. 1 day @ a time...
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