recovery from my alcoholism has taught me that i should be grateful for all the blessins ive received and which i do not deserve. gratitude to God for all His blessins will make me humble. when i remember that i could do little by myself, and now must rely largely on Gods grace in helpin myself and others, i should try to walk humbly at all times. gratitude to God and true humility is what makes me useful and effective. all of the emotions i used negatively while out doin my dirt havent all left me, they are all still alive and well within. when i use humility to remain humble, i dont have to use them to be counter-productive, which produces changes of a sort i dont want. they are very dangerous instruments and can destroy me within when i choose to wield em. ive learned that emotional and mental violence can often times be more harmful than any physical violence could ever be. today when i practice surrender, tolerance, acceptance, and patience i get to gain the humility recovery teaches. through recovery, the anger, hate, and need to hurt are slowly goin away. i am progressively gettin better a day at a time. convalescin so i may offer the hand of peace, not the word, emotion, or behavior of violence. lessons exist in everythin i experience. all i have to do is simply trust that what comes my way is meant for ultimate good. with this thought, hindsight provides acceptance, if not always understandin. with time and experience, ive come to trust wisdom, whether anothers, or my own. ive also come to value the lessons gained through my experiences. i aint gotta fret over whatever is happenin today; instead, i can trust that todays circumstances will make me a wiser, more humble, person. ive discovered that i do receive guidance for my life to just about the extent that i stop makin demands upon God to give humility to me on my order and on my terms. with experience my affairs have taken remarkable and unexpected turns for the better as ive tried to improve my conscious contact with my HP. when i gratefully give experience and humility away, which ev it is, whether to my HP, or another, i get to thankfully keep humility. 1 day @ a time...
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