my daily reflections…

it has been proof to me, no matter how hard i may try, beg, or share my e.s.h., that the only one i can keep sober and in recovery is myself. this doesnt mean that i dont try to give away the gifts i have received though. sometimes, the simplest of gestures are the best received. merely listenin, sittin with and not sayin a word, a lil hug with an extra squeeze, a smile, ya know, the simplest easiest of things that really dont cost me a thing. those are often the actions that show the most love for another. at least they are when given to me. i know that what i got aint for everybody, hell man, i know this cause not everybody has what i want. but it doesnt mean i cant offer love, even if i dont particularly like or care for another. those who still suffer still deserve the same respect as i would give anybody else. and truth be known, they are the ones i tend to gravitate most toward. its because ive been there and i fuckin know how it fuckin feels to be in that kind of fuckin pain. that bein said, there are limits to how far i can go as protectin my recovery is very important, but usin discretion and humility i can offer as much as i can as best as i can. my HP helps to give me strength in areas where to others, i may seem to fail. i get to use the courage He has provided so i can be vulnerable, so i can know and understand when i cant do what is needed, so i may reach out for help from those who can. with His guidance i get to offer inward peace, in any surroundin i may be in, as well as in my heart. with inward peace, i can show another how not to resent a person who troubles me or them. instead, we can overcome the resentment in our own minds, with the help of our individual HPs. the only way i can fail is if i let fear come between me and my HP so i dont even try. as long as i try i get to learn from the experience. trust and faith in my HP involves the risk of my ego and pride. when i stick to the principles of the program, they dont betray me, it is only i that betray them. walkin with my HP means practicin the presence of Him in my daily affairs. it means askin Him for strength to face each new day. it means turnin to Him often durin the day in prayer for myself and for other people, even those who still suffer. when i forget where i came from, im doomed to go back. 1 day @ a time...