my daily reflections…

things ive learned about myself through recovery have been eye openin. as an active alcoholic, i was always lookin for a handout, never tryin to give somethin i had. i always took from others as they were the ones givin anonymous gifts of kindness. i couldnt see my way to be such a person of humility and high regard, i was too damned selfish. even before i found out doin personal inventory, others would tell me of my selfishness. one day, my wife and i were talkin and she had the audacity to tell me that i was one of the most selfish people she had ever met. i can recall the thought i had when she said it, it was one of joy, not realization. through personal inventory in recovery, i found that what she said that day so many years ago was truth and had been my reality for much of my life before i began this journey in recovery. and how funny is it that i refer to it as a journey. one definition of journey is passage or progress from one stage to another. as i think of that definition while writin this daily reflection, i think of the things ive taken from others and what ive given them in return. before my recovery began, as i stated i took and never gave. didnt matter if it was emotional, or material. now in my recovery, havin practiced how to use humility effectively, i like to think that i am not the same as before, a taker, without givin. ya know, i think of selfishness today, and i cannot recall anybody sayin the shit my wife did before my recovery began. maybe this thing we do has helped me to change. what i do like doin today is lil acts of kindness, i love sprinklin that shit all over, wherever i go. today, i like to give, it makes me feel worthy within. ive learned that if ive enough faith and trust in God, he will give me all the strength i need. it is that which i love to try to give to others, the gifts He has given me to share. ive learned that liberty is not only an idea; it is also a code of behavior. if i am to enjoy freedom, then i need to encourage the experience of freedom in others. i can do this by merely givin of self. when i discover the unique gifts i can offer the world today, it is my responsibility to share it, whatever it may be. that is what helps to give me purpose. humility has taught me that when i go to losin all control, fillin myself with the chaos of selfish instead of humility, i cant be the giver my HP directs me to be. 1 day @ a time...