my daily reflections…

recallin the stinginess and selfishness i uncovered through personal inventory, i remember not givin much of anythin away to anybody without the expectation of return. ya know, ya scratch my back, ill scratch yours. and notice how it was stated, ya scratch my back, first. it wasnt unlike me to try to be the first to give, it typically only happened after i had received. then, i thought it, maybe, ok to give if i thought what i had received was worthy of such praise of my time and effort. that kinda shit dont bode too well with the spiritual principle of humility i learned. so, it was an experience and practice to learn to give. especially without expectation of return. and then the idea that if i wanted to continue to get the awesomeness recovery was offerin, i couldnt stop seekin it. there was no graduation or class to pass so i could stop, i had to keep doin the shit, givin away everythin i was gifted. i had to stop worryin and focusin on what i could get. i had to start focusin on and givin what i could. idk if Gods grace would still be with me if i stopped believin, but i do know that if i stop believin, losin the faith in the relationship i have with my HP, my ability to give would disappear. it is a goal of mine to remain victorious and happy within with peace of mind. so, i must continue to be willin to be humble and give what i have received, whether i feel like the person receivin deserves it or not. understandin the power of change within me, i get the opportunity to help others change by givin what i have experienced through strength and hope. my HP has given me the time and space i need to grow spiritually. it is a responsibility to myself, to recovery, to give that to others, to let my HP live and work through me. i aint gotta do it perfectly, i just gotta do it. perfection never got me far anyways, but the mere action of bein willin to try to do as my HP has. its been my experience that givin back what i have been given is a practice in overcomin my shortcomins. with perseverance, if i am painstakin with my efforts, i get to feel the sensation of a peppermint patty before im through, know a new freedom and a new happiness, i aint gotta fear or regret the past, nor wish to shut the door on it, i get to comprehend the word serenity so i can know peace of mind. i cannot find peace by avoidin life; i cannot keep recovery if i avoid life or even keep my recovery without givin it all away. 1 day @ a time...