my daily reflections…

it is my opinion, that though the 4th & 8th step inventories are written in the steps as one-time events, there are times when in my own recovery ive had to do them again. and i do agree that the 10th step does offer an avenue to let loose of things, i feel like its purpose is to take care of immediate, possibly superficial resentment or anger. throughout my recovery ive had to do personal inventories because there were forgotten, damagin emotional conflicts that escaped me in my initial inventories. these were disturbances that had the potential to cause me harm if i didnt take care of them. ive heard in the rooms that if i dont change, my sobriety date will. so, takin care of these personal problems when they surface with a thorough inventory is what i must do to live the change i want in my life. its all about continuin to get well and becomin a better person for myself, for others in my life, and my HP. sometimes these interferences arent so small and become rather minatory if i dont do what is necessary to live past them in healthy behavioral and emotional ways, like doin the inventory to find out how, what, and why, they are loomin. i have to surrender to them and do the follow through work the big book describes to get over em. callin upon my HP to help me, and takin to another in recovery about it, helps me so they do not become somethin that causes further harm to anybody. it is my belief that my recovery requires a daily desire to see, discover, and talk about my alcoholism. with this insight comes recovery. diggin through the denial, pain, and manipulation of my disease helps me to continue to heal. it is there i can accept responsibility for my own happiness, for the obstacles i put in my own way, and for the happiness substitutes that i use to distract myself. i aint gotta live seriously disturbed, my first need is to quiet the disturbances that surface, regardless of what caused em. for me, gettin well has taken me time, but the rewards ive experienced through this work on self, have given me far more than the promises ever promised. i feel that the personal responsibility to give brotherly love is worth my efforts to heal whats hidden deep within. 1 day @ a time...