my daily reflections…

to express the feelin of the spiritual experience i get to continue to live through recovery would be futile for me to try to do. i cannot think of words that could characterize or articulate sufficiently enough the change within i get to feel because of it. i reckon the best thing i can do to try to reveal to another the way i understand it is just do my best to live the change ive experienced that has been cultivated within from the outside sources of my HP and recovery. what was it that made me decide to accept what i have today? how is it that i dont experience the grief or pain i used to while back in the days of doin my dirt? how can i best explain to ya’ll my HP and the miracle he has performed within me? i reckon i truly cant tell ya, but if ya knew me back then, and ya know me today, then maybe the change is evident. but i suppose many i know today, who have only known me since my recovery, who may possibly be in recovery themselves, may have an idea. i dont know what tomorrow may bring me, i cant dwell on what yesterday brought me, but i can live in what is right in front of me right now. i dont know what the future may hold, but i do know i dont have to fear it as i used to. this riddle of recovery, this unknowin of what my HPs plans are or the reason He does what He does for me, are as this mornins readin suggests, just the story of my recovery, not the inner change i feel. usin what ive gained from others, the peace within only came from within, it i come from outside as i always thought it would. that alone is a miracle to me. what my task today is, is to do all that i can to maintain peace in my life, and that i believe is to continue to live the change of my recovery, what i perceive my HPs will is. even when life happens and it does, how i live through it with happiness is healthy for me. to get angry at people when they abuse and humiliate me, may make me human, but how i react to it toward them is the show of what my HP has given me. as long as i remember how pride in my intelligence blinded me to how much i did not know before i came into the rooms, not believin everythin i think, and continuin to live how i feel on the inside, i have the best opportunity to show the change ive been offered. 1 day @ a time...