my daily reflections…

i remember when i used to, ‘have to’, do stuff. how the dreadful feelin of, ‘i gotta do this’, or ‘i gotta do that’, used to crowd my head so i couldnt think of anythin else. how i would try to outthink and overthink any way out of what ev it was that i didnt want to do. i reckon some of those things i tried so desperately to get out of doin were what some people would call responsibilities. well, what ev they were, i didnt want to do em cause i had to. today, with time under my belt in recovery i have the understandin that those things were actually gifts, not shit meant to torment me. today when i have shit to do i try not to use the same stinkin thinkin i used to. i think of them as things, ‘i get to do’. i reckon today i have found a sufficient substitute that provides me with a different view, or way of thinkin. i have a full understandin of the grace God has given me and how that grace has made possible a victorious life for me to live. ive learned how to let go of my personal battles and open my heart to things as they are, ive learned to live in the present moment. this lifestyle change has had a drastic effect on my emotional, behavioral, psychological, and spiritual ways of life. i can actually see how the promises of step 9 and throughout the big book do get fulfilled within my life. when i use the practice of labelin the thoughts that have the potential to cause me trouble, i get to acknowledge and accept them, rather than resist or fight them. when i can recognize the things i can do nothin about or the things i can do somethin about, im given the ability to use the knowledge of the wisdom recovery has given me. i get to be set free, i get to do what is right in front of me, i get to live in the present moment, clearin up my past and creatin a better future for me. i get to be present and live with peace of mind. i aint gotta be my own worst enemy. i can face who i am and learn to use it to be created anew. discoverin my own truth with the spiritual awakenin recovery has gifted me with, i am seein my truths in a new way. im able to trust that in my recovery i am learnin new things as i need to learn them. i can be comfortable with the pace of my recovery. these are things the spiritual principle of step 9, justice, has taught me. these are the promises i get to live today. 1 day @ a time...