my daily reflections…

the amends process i went through involved my children. there was much i had to do in this area. i always thought that if i raised them with my ideas of how life should be lived, disregardin any realistic moral or value, they would grow up to be people who would stand up for the beliefs and concepts i had. personal inventory had the effect of showin just how wrong i was in many of the ideas i had. with this in mind, and after deep conference with my sponsor, i found i had an amends to make to them. for a time in my early recovery i did not have contact with them, but there did come a time when i wanted to and needed to re-establish relationships with them. they needed time to heal from the damage i had done to them, just as i needed time to heal from it too. i found out i had hurt them, by my actions of abandonment durin the last years of doin my dirt. they had no problem lettin me know that either. i, had work to do. i had to show them i had changed and was on a different path of life. it was a long process, but with establishin a relationship with them, usin what recovery was teachin me, today we have beautiful relationships. each of them has forgiven me, and i get to be a part of their lives even though we are miles apart. earlier this week i was made a grandparent for the second time and have been gratefully a part of my granddaughters new life. there was a time that would never have happened. if i hadnt made the amends i struggled with years ago, i would not have been able to be in any one of their lives today. livin with the joy of relationships with my children, i must give the glory i have received up to my HP. for it is with His will, i get to be a father and a dad to them as best as i can be. it is a small repayment to them and my HP for what i have been blessed with. life is a glorious mystery. i will never fully understand it. it will always confuse and amaze me, and, today, i get to enjoy the adventure of the relationships i have with my children. as long as i strive for spiritual progress and not perfection, i get to look forward to buildin and stregthenin the relationships i have with each. i get to enjoy their lives with them. 1 day @ a time...