my daily reflections…

it feels good within to know and understand that i dont have to do this thing we do all alone, all by myself. when i was out doin my dirt i didnt have time to be around others, and if i did, it was only to try to get somethin from em at their expense. a false sense of self-sufficiency had driven me away from others, even the ones that loved me most. and didnt my selfish behaviors and words even drive others away more? my ego had forced me into a state of loneliness and unhealthy self-reliance, and even though at times it felt comfortin, it truly sucked ass. besides, if i kept others away, nobody could hurt me. if it needed figured out, id do it alone, fuck everybody else. i didnt have time or an open enough mind to accept anothers ideas or passions. hmmm, alcoholism! hmmm, joel! today i understand times alone are valuable and have a healthy attribute to em. i aint talkin bout the loneliness described above, im talkin bout the healthy rest so i may recharge, so i may contemplate where im headed, what im doin. when those times are done and i feel complete within with what i perceive is my HPs guidance, i can go be with the ones who are just like me and work toward our common solution enjoyin life. today i understand the concept of teamwork and relationships that are bondin and strengthenin. i know from the times of doin my dirt, i cannot make my recovery successful without the help of others. with them, i can get down to the real problems in my life and appreciate the deep personal fellowship with which we share our individual spiritual journeys. i get to share my fears and share in others too, workin toward solutions that are positive, balanced, and healthily sane. as i grow in my spiritual journey with others, discoverin and understandin more of self, i get to learn what others do, and share with them my understandin as we grow together. how wonderful it is to know that i am never given a test i cant handle with the help of others, that everythin that happens in my life is for the sake of my growth that may help another, and that we, together, are watched over at all times by God. ive learned that even as times change, alcoholism doesnt. within the recoverin fellowship, i get to face everythin and recover alongside others who are just like me. 1 day @ a time...