my daily reflections…

to be useful. it was somethin i never ever strived to be while back in the days of doin my dirt. usefulness was what others were posed to be for me. today i have a different view and attitude as to what usefulness means to me. today it is a responsibility to be useful for others, the exact opposite of how i used to live. with this usefulness i hope to be effective as well. i have learned through recovery that i may take what ive experienced and use it as a powerful message to others. and it doesnt have to be given to only those in recovery, the wisdom i have gained can be used in every facet of my life. as i practice the spiritual awareness i secure through intimate times with my HP, i can pass it on as a benefit to those around me. after all, i have reinforced my program of recovery with knowledge of self that can fortify the relationships i have with others. ive found that givin of self, when i am able, provides me with an inner happiness i used to search for in people, places, and things. a sane and happy usefulness was within me the whole time, i was just too blinded and blocked by self-will to realize it. today is Christmas Eve and i am aware of what my HP has done for me. with a deep gratitude for what i have received, i want to keep a deep sense of obligation, showin, and sharin, the gifts recovery continues to give me. im not gonna do everythin perfect, and i aint posed to, but when i do make mistakes i can affirm them and live toward a better effect. it is a part of what makes me useful and effective, an ability to live with my humanness, workin toward practicin what i perceive my HP needs from me. remainin humble i get to be of service, i get to give. i can be successful every moment that my actions are honest, lovin, and consistent with my values. this is what sane and happy usefulness mean to me today. its an effort to walk among my peers, not below, or above them. when i clear the hurdle of joel, i get to continue to live my spiritual experience. there isnt a better way for me to practice these spiritual principles than to try to be as forgivin, hopeful, and lovin as my HP is. 1 day @ a time...