my daily reflections…

i didnt know how to live throughout the days of my drinkin. i know i was probably taught through parentin, social, and religious upbringin, but i chose to do things the way i wanted. i can think of times i was told by others, who were my elders, how to do things, and live life, but i wanted to try my way, apply my angle, so i could feel a sense of ownership or pride, bolsterin my ego. ive always thought i was an intelligent person, and often times i was too damned smart fer my own damned good. problem solvin was somethin, i thought, i was good at, even though i neglected what i had been taught. i couldnt apply what i had been taught because i had let self-will fool me into a thinkin and behavioral pattern that was unhealthy and unbalanced. recovery enlightened me to many of the rational rules and civilized standards of life i had let go of and had forgotten about. i found that as i learned to use these ideas, humble pie was often filled with a bitter taste that left me kickin my own ass. i reckon today, i needed to go through what i went through to get where i am today. ive been gifted an opportunity to relearn and use what i understand are right and proper ways to live my life. how blessed am i. when i keep it simple, i get to grow. i get to live toward, and up to, the potential i have. im not hindered by the foolish idea that i know better. even when events come into my life that i have experience and knowledge from that i learned in my recovery, wisdom tells me to use my HP to grow into a new understandin of success through the spiritual principles growin my spiritual awareness. i have come a long way in my life, in my recovery, but the journey into wisdom, recovery, and personal healin along the way, with deep valleys that needed to be crossed, high mountains that only i could climb, have taught me to be willin to learn. ive had to learn a real tolerance of my own shortcomins and viewpoints and a respect for the opinions and attitudes which can make me more useful to others, myself, and my HP. my very life today, as an ex-problem drinker, depends upon my constant thought of what ive learned and how i choose to problem solve while i apply spiritual principles to em. with real tolerance, i become more useful. 1 day @ a time...