my daily reflections…

i am not the same person i was 17 yrs. ago, 10 yrs. ago, 5 yrs. ago, 1 yr. ago, or even yesterday. i have undergone changes within throughout the years that have given me different outlooks and perspectives on life, my life in particular. the views i may have once carried and lived are not the same i have or live by today. there has been a drastic change in the emotional stability, psychological thought, behavioral activity, and spiritual awareness within, and outside, of my life. i have learned to accept every opportunity as a healthy challenge, practicin usin recovery principles to live through them as best i can. where i used to live to be self-sufficient and seek selfish pleasure, i found that it does not work too well. no matter how much material wealth i had acquired, no matter how much i tried to live like someone i wasnt, the time of disillusionment and futility finally came, and ive been able to learn and grow from it. the fears i used to live with, though still alive within to some extent, are easily reduced with a means of survival that wasnt even thought of. i get to express myself emotionally, psychologically, behaviorally, and spiritually in ways that are beautiful and lovin, creatin unity and oneness. as an alcoholic i am aware of the differences within and get to show the peace of mind and happiness with a healthy smile and an “i love you”. i continue to live a spiritual experience in knowin and bein touched by somethin much larger than me, somethin beyond what i understand, somethin of mysterious dimensions. my HP and recovery brought this experience to me. the sense of awe is a kind of reverence. as i continue to persevere and look for the moments of awe in my life, i get to surrender, tolerate, and accept the personality changes within ive been blessed with, even as i may not fully understand the miracle recovery has facilitated. with an altered attitude of acceptance and belief, i get to continue to live the personality changes within. 1 day @ a time...