my daily reflections…

this was most def where i was at, at one time, choiceless. the only thing i could do after as long a stretch as i could stand livin in my own skin, was take a drink for relief. i had lost the power to control my drinkin. sometimes i could go for very long stretches without a drink, but for what ev reason, i would return. my will power became nonexistent. and even after the drink i would realize what id done, and drink even more figurin wtf, ill do better next time. today, it aint like that. i know that drinkin has been the cause of all my major troubles or has made them worse. now that i have found a solution other than alcohol, i will hang onto recovery with both hands. i understand today that my new life will not be immune from difficulties, but i can have peace of mind even in hardships. i know that serenity is the result of faithful, trustin acceptance of Gods will, even in the midst of difficulties. its the best way i can show the results of what recovery has given me, live the spiritual principles of recovery through tough times. as mark twain once said, “courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.” courage is a show of love toward myself and a result of learnin what my defects are. i aint gotta fear the worlds result today because i have used courage to face me, to face the demons within that i once swore i would defeat with alcohol and failed at every attempt. today i face them with endurance and prowess, not cocky, but assured of the solutions ive found that work. ive learned to let go of the shit that caused me obsession. i have choice today to let go of a problem instead of givin my attention to it, allowin it to have power. i can place my focus on God instead, believin that He will reveal the solution to me. these are the steps i take to continue to have a choice in what ev i face. whether its a drink, a problem, another, or me, i let loose control and give it up. these are the accountable actions that show the worth of my recovery choice. 1 day @ a time...