my daily reflections…

i remember how i felt when i first came into the rooms. i was broken and defeated, and on guard to anything or anybody who may try to attack me. whether it may have been verbal or physical, i was wound tight and ready to fire back. i can say this with certainty, ive rarely met an alcoholic or addict who wasnt a truly intelligent individual. today i do not consider myself someone who isnt intelligent and i didnt then. its not to say i couldnt have been swindled or lied to and i wouldnt have caught it, what im tryin to say is that i had honed my awareness to anybody tryin to talk down to me while i was out doin my dirt. if there was one way to really go to botherin me, it was talkin at me like you had somethin over me, was better than me, or tried to make me feel stupid. when i met my sponsor he didnt speak to me like he was better than me, nor did he try to make me feel less than, he spoke to me like he was just like me. he didnt speak at, me, he spoke with, me. he spoke with me like he was another alcoholic who had struggles and difficulties just like i did. he listened as i spoke and i listened as he spoke. he spoke like he knew what he was talkin about which made me feel comfortable enough over time to share more about myself than just the little shit. he availed himself to me, made himself vulnerable, while servin his brother. though i may not fully understand why, i am an alcoholic, he helped me understand that i am. he helped me be content with the imperfection of my knowledge, so i could keep sober with a God of my understandin usin the principles of recovery. he showed me how i could fill the empty and hollow hole within with real connections with other people, my HP, my values, and myself. and he did this stressin our equality with one another as alcoholics. he helped me be open and willin to the teachins, tasks, miracles, and gifts of recovery. as i walked alongside him, he taught me how gettin sober wasnt somethin i joined, its a way of life. he taught me how to serve my brothers and sisters in recovery. 1 day @ a time...