my daily reflections…

i aint gonna try to tell anybody that when i think of the past i dont cringe or wish i wouldnt have done “that”, because i do. what makes the past different today from before my recovery, i can share some, if not all, the details with others. its what my sponsor did for me. he helped me see how his actions, behaviors, and thinkin, made him an alcoholic. its what ive seen and heard others do in the rooms as ive sat in meetins. its what i must do if i want to continue to live the change recovery offers me. now i aint about to just throw any of my dirt out into the wind and let it fall where it may. i aint tryin to harm others again, or myself. there are things ive done and said that only my sponsor, my HP, or the ones ive made amends to, and myself are privy to. see, for me, when i live recovery as best as i can, i get to tell my dirt, my inventories, to another, and make amends for them. this frees me from the burden of carryin em any longer. some of that shit weighed me down for a couple decades. i aint gotta carry that weight anymore. the treasure of my past is my key to freedom from alcohol and my alcoholism. death and misery have been averted from me, now its my turn to repay the blessin to another. even as i may become weary, disillusioned, or disappointed today, when i start to feelin the shame, remorse, or guilt of my doins come on me, all i gotta do is put my trust in the way of the spirit, my HP, and i am rendered free. i aint gotta continue bein limited by who i used to be or think i am. i trust all my decisions to my positive inner guide. nothin from the past will block me or hold me back. today is mine to use for growth and recovery. i love myself today. i get to take charge and own who and what i am. i know a way to let sadness go, by sharin it. its what recovery has taught me to do. ive been gifted a solution to lockin my grief in, before it weighs more on me and lengthens out; if i open my heart with weepin and words, i can trust my HP will help carry it away. i get to detach from old actions, behaviors, and thinkin, with honesty, humility, self-forgiveness, hope, and love. 1 day @ a time...