my daily reflections…

when i surrender, i have to surrender to more than just alcohol or my alcoholism. recovery has shown me the various ways i needed surrender throughout my life, i just couldnt do it. my ego was too strong to admit that i didnt have all the answers. the self-imposed crisis of bein crushed by my alcoholism over years of self-abuse, was quite evident after my 1st personal inventory, let alone the many i have done since. and doesnt just merely livin life allow me the opportunity to see that i, alone, cannot live without the help of others, especially my HP? today its not so hard for me to admit that God is a needed resource in my life. and He is even much more than that. i must be willin to let loose of all self-knowledge and open my mind to His intuitive word each day so i may continue to live with success and failure. quite simply put, i dont run the show. the only way ive learned to get ready to receive His word is to let loose the old patterns of behavior so i may let loose the old methods and means of thinkin. i have to open myself and be vulnerable so different and better, more introspective ways of changin attitudes can hopefully influence my behavior and thinkin. and it is truly all about crushin my ego and rebuildin a healthy sense of pride. ive learned that when i listen to others i get to gain hope on how i can improve my willingness to continue to open myself more to the concepts and ideas God needs me to follow. Gods hand is always extended toward me, i have to be the one to grab it. if i don’t, then change toward positive and healthy patterns of lifestyle change do not happen. i must remain open to all the help i can get, i dont know everythin like i once thought. whether it comes intuitively or from another, my HP is always there tryin to help me whether i like what He is sayin or not. its again, quite simple, the spiritual life is not a theory, i have to live it. and understandin and acknowledgin that God is everythin, or He is nothin, is a decision i must make. 1 day @ a time...