my daily reflections…

doesnt it always seem that when i go to thinkin i deserve somethin i aint gettin that i start gettin all irritated, frustrated, and eventually, pissed off? and isnt it true that the wants i want arent usually what my HP may need me to have? yeah mannn, selfishness, self-centeredness, is usually what i got goin on. and dont i just go to sufferin cause of joels own personal indignation when not practicin recoverys spiritual principles? its when i realize the conundrum ive placed myself in after wallowin in it for a lil while that i start to surrender, understandin that my self-centeredness has once again placed me, and possibly others, in a position to be harmed. it becomes a time when i need to use the hope of step 2 to work myself away from the pit of shit ive put myself in. and hopefully, nobody else has gotten caught up in it. when these times happen, it is imperative that i try to call upon the consciousness of my HP. when i finally surrender my self-will, i get to experience the new and better life through a God consciousness. and it feels so much better to become more and more joyful as my heart softens and becomes filled with love and compassion toward self and others instead of ill will, animosity, and mercilessness. when i truly rest in the reality of true self-awareness, my experience becomes spacious and intimate, without defenses. with it arises compassion; i get to feel my hearts natural compassion with life and the self-centeredness ive enveloped in myself trails away into a nothingness. its the work ive put into my recovery that comes alive and i get to remember to enjoy every moment as it comes. its not what i do today, but how i do it that counts. when i try to do each thing well today, even the small things, escapin from my selfishness, allowin His will over mine be done, my self-imposed crises falter to the omnipotence of my HP. it boils down to the involvement of the attitude adjustment i need when i place personal recovery in front of me deflatin my ego. 1 day @ a time...