my daily reflections…

i must admit, that many years i was way too smart fer my own damned good. and even in recovery, with several years behind me, i can still fall prey to the self-delusion that i am smarter than the program and smarter than my HP. and boy dont the spheres have their way of makin me eat humble pie, and not by the slice either. idk bout ya’ll, but crow dont taste too good to me today now that im sober and livin a program of recovery. even when the notion strikes me to go head out on my own today, i must take the time to pray and meditate. i must listen to the intuitive voice within for guidance. it may even require that i speak with others in this great fellowship so i may gain knowledge of their wisdom and experience. and to say it isnt a humblin experience when i do, would be straight story tellin ya’ll. today i dont want to waste time floatin above the rest of the folks around me on my own dumb ass brain power alone; thats the kind of shit i used to do! i need the help of my HP and those in recovery, and even those who aint in recovery, to help guide me. just like i couldnt think my way sober so many years ago, i cant outthink, or overthink, my way through life today, less i wanna crack open a ½ gallon jug. and i dont want to give up in the final stretch either, i have to ask God to put people around me to help me press forward until my goal is reached. whatever it may be if its a balanced and healthy outcome. i can express my own thoughts, but i must always be open and willin to hear the opinions and thoughts of others and feel the voice of my HP within. when i claim my bravery today, i must hold my head up high and be proud of how far ive come. i know i have nothin to be ashamed of as long as i do my HPs will, allowin Him to teach me when to run and when to stay put. He will help me be brave. i dont have to be fearful of the ways in which fear conspired with pride to hinder my own decision makin. recovery has taught me that a fear faced is a fear erased. it is simply me usin my ego to fight against reality. today i dont think im above or below, i just am. 1 day @ a time...