my daily reflections…

i must be even more committed to my recovery today than i was when i first walked into the rooms this last time. even as i may have several years of recovery behind me, i am even more in danger of fuckin up than ever before. and just cause i got time under my belt, all i truly have is this day, this moment. it is true that the experience i have practicin the principles of recovery have given me knowledge and the wit to use wisdom, but it doesnt absolve me from tryin to take control and fuckin up and takin that 1, 1st drink. it is why the process of the 12 steps is so important. when i follow em in sequence, 1, then 2, then 3, then 4, and so on, i get to build upon each prior steps principle. i cannot do step 8, then step 1, then step 5, i must do them in the order prescribed so that i build upon each steps fundamental established infrastructure. its like this, step 1 offers me the concept of self-honesty so i may try to build hope. with that honesty and hope, i get to see how i am the one who needs the help, growin the hope that somethin, other than self, will help me. step 1s honesty, leads to step 2s hope. step 2s hope leads to step 3s faith. with that faith i can gain courage to do the deep self-dig of step 4. then i get to grow integrity by sharin what ive found in step 4 with another in step 5; there are no longer any secrets. integrity leads to willingness, leads to humility, leads to brotherly love, leads to justice, leads to perseverance, leads to spiritual awareness, leads to service toward others lettin loose of self. with this simple understandin, i get to grow gainin each spiritual principle as i move forward. and with this right action, not of my own makin, but makin em my own, i get to experience good livin. its a process that took me time, and i cant stop, i have to keep doin it lest i take that 1, 1st drink again. i aint tryina die today, this moment. ty lord fer thinkin bout me, im committed, alive, n’ doin fine. 1 day @ a time...