my daily reflections…

as my recovery has progressed and evolved over the years, i have come to rely upon and build a relationship with a Power greater than myself. when at first a flimsy reed, as its called in the big book, it has become a force in my life that is strong and steadfast. even when i try to force my own will, my HP steps in and bitch slaps me back to reality. He has proven to me, time and time again, His lovin and powerful hand. i can recall a time when i was alone and full of fear. and sometimes i may still feel those emotions. the difference from then to today, is that i dont have to fall prey to my alcoholism if i dont want to. i have a solution and design for livin that works in rough goin. it is my choice to use it. today i get to feel that i am not alone in my life. even when by myself i know that if i trust in my HP, i have nothin to fear. its when i go to pullin my faith back and go to lettin joel that i get to suffer alone. and my HP will let me do just that. as long as i keep in mind that a half gallon whiskey jug can never be my friend again, and is now my deadly enemy, and as long as i remember that my main business is keepin sober and that its the most important thing in my life, i believe ill be prepared for that crucial moment when the idea of havin a drink pops into my mind. He will provide me with the courage and strength to use the hope of faith to help me continue to live the change the relationship i have with Him is; trustin, with perseverance, and spiritual awareness. its all about keepin life real with self, usin honesty and humility to know that lettin joel aint lettin God. uncalm times can and do come when evil can find an entrance, but its when i use the oneness/relationship ive built, i aint gotta feel alone. spirit is intelligence for me. it is the mind of God at work in and through my daily life. today, it seems the intelligent thing to do. it is more inclusive than livin life alone, and it feels right. i must remain creative in battlin my alcoholism, even with time livin and practicin my recovery. when i am honest with myself, usin the fellowship and my HP, buildin relationships that arent self-inclusive, i make progress toward greatness of character. i then get to heal, enjoy my life, and recover together, with my HP and others. i get to be a part of the whole. 1 day @ a time...