my daily reflections…

the other evenin i was thinkin bout my move down here to florida. i was thinkin how durin the 1st couple of weeks we had worked hard doin what was necessary to find a place to call home. we took the right steps and eventually found a place. after a few days of movin in we found things that werent as nice as we had wanted and were bitchin to each other about those things. then last night i got to thinkin how much work we had put into findin this new place to call home. how we had prayed and were so excited to have finally found a place. i thought about how blessed we were, about all the footwork we had done, about how all the prayer and mental stress of findin a place seemed so do or die. then i thought, ya know dumbass, God answered your prayers and provided a place for us to live within 3 weeks of bein here. how we were actin so ungrateful thinkin we deserved better than what we got. God answered our prayers and we sat unhappy with what He may have provided. then i thought of my early days in recovery, when i had moved into a halfway house with nothin. how fearful i was, how i had to trust in the unknown, and had made it through those times usin what recovery had given me. how thankful i was i wasnt out in da streets doin my dirt. back then, i literally had nothin, materially, emotionally, psychologically, or spiritually and God provided me with everythin i needed. flip back to today, i came down here, so far away from home with a hell of a lot more than my early days of recovery. hell man, i rented a truck and filled it with all my shit, rented a trailer to pull behind it with my durango #95 on it. all of this with a good program of recovery to bring down with me. i reckon what im tryin to say here is how God gives not always what i want, but what i may need. i need to remember that when i use hope and faith, askin Him that His will be done, maybe i need to recognize it, and be thankful and grateful for it. even if i think i want more than what He has provided. when some part of my life is beyond my control, i can be patient and simply wait. inaction is not necessarily inactivity. that i need to value what i have while i have it when He has provided me with what i cannot. how by merely bein responsible for my thoughts and behaviors is payin gratitude to Him for providin for me. how the promises do come true and i need to be not only thankful for them but repay that thankfulness with gratitude. 1 day @ a time...