my daily reflections…

how many times today do i take my will back forgettin what recovery has not only taught me, but even better yet, shown me, about hope? how often do i go to settin myself up for disappointment, thinkin, “i got this shit”! if im to be completely candid, rememberin how honesty has given me the ability to be humble enough to tell on myself, seein through my own bullshit, i do these things often. and my HP will let me get away with it too mannn. lettin me go so far as to feel the sting of the consequences of my thinkin, my will. and to say it isnt discouragin would be for me to try to tell ya’ll a story so farfetched a childs book of fairytales couldnt capture the delusion id be tryin to cast. i reckon its the reason He allowed me to get to the bottoms He did when i started this journey in recovery. i reckon its the reason He provided people in my life to tell me the storys of their alcoholism and a sponsor to guide me along through the steps and traditions. so i could gain a sense of hope and see that there was a pathway, i didnt create, to grow and evolve from. that i didnt have to continue to suffer through self-imposed discouragement. so i could learn from those who came before me and the story of my own makin. hope provides me the strength my HP has so i may look forward to what recovery has to offer through the promises of recovery. hope has let me be able to face anythin through His power, so i may feel that Gods power is mine. its then im able to discover the generosity others have given me as spiritually rewardin. hope gives me the ability to look inward so i can surrender, accept, tolerate, and forgive myself for the things that want to cause me discouragement. hope sustains and enriches me, makin me thankful for the relationships i have in my life, givin me reason for love. when i walk with God, He meets me at the steps. He teaches me that hope, even as life is fragile, can be handled with prayer and faith. 1 day @ a time...