my daily reflections…

i can recall the time i learned what “love and tolerance of others is our code” meant. i was bitchin to my sponsor and tellin him how i was never gonna drink again. he stopped me short and told me that i should be cautious usin the word never, cause never was a mighty long time. he then proceeded, as i continued bitchin about alcohol more, that on page 84 it says that “love and tolerance is our code”, that just because i did to alcohol what happened to me, millions of people can drink and not allow themselves to use alcohol as i did. he said that the way i used alcohol wasnt like others do. he said that because i used it to try to change the world around me, many people never cross the lines i did while usin it. as he dropped me off at the halfway house i was livin at, he told me to reread the pages on step 10. he asked me to find how the things i had been bitchin about were causin me to be intolerant, just as i had been throughout a majority of my active alcoholism. what i found out was that i still had more work to do. i needed to try to use the principles of recovery to work even harder at overcomin selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. these 4 areas had caused me trouble within, my whole time while out doin my dirt. they caused me to become intolerant of the things outside of me i could not control. i also learned that i was still fightin alcohol within, settin myself up for my next drink. that i was tryin to use my self-will to battle it instead of reachin out to my HP. ive grown since those early times in recovery. today i can use the faith i have to have love and tolerance. i can function on a spiritual plane as well as on a material plane, allowin the flow of Gods spirit to come to me through many channels. just like he did that day from my sponsor, so many years ago. today i get to continue to learn as i share my experience with others. i get to use empathy to connect with others so i may carry da message from my HP while keepin my individuality as a member of this great society in recovery. i am much more lovin and tolerant because of the lessons i been graced to learn. when i think im bein intolerant and unlovin, chances are i am. 1 day @ a time...