my daily reflections…

it was a sure step toward freedom and independence, though i didnt know it then, when i made the decision and action to have faith in somethin greater than i. it gave me an opportunity to become who and what i truly am today, to be ok with me, and be the person i truly was within. i had always struggled with an inner unhealthy conscious and poor self-esteem. relievin myself of that pressure was an immense change in every aspect of my life. with faith ive learned a healthy way to balance the successes and failures i have. i dont have to live in self-pity for too long when surrenderin, acceptin, and toleratin, either. sometimes i am gonna do remarkable things without even thinkin about it, and sometimes im gonna do just the opposite. self-consciousness is still somethin i deal with today, but i do it with the thought that it is ok to be me, not be who or what i want others to think i am. and havin a healthy balance of self-consciousness and self-esteem has become an even greater asset because of faith. today, as i continue to evolve and grow in my recovery and relationship with my HP, alcohol doesnt seem to be a factor in any of the decisions i make. it doesnt mean i dont still think about alcohol, it just means that with faith in my HP, i dont have to obsess over it. i find that is the miracle recovery has given me. it doesnt mean i have become complacent, it just means that the faith i have in my HP has provided me the opportunity to live without the thought of a drink when makin decisions in the many moments of my day. im no longer powerless over alcohol and get to maintain some manageability in my life. ive gained the power to live the good life and a constant supply to meet all spiritual needs with faith. when i am givin of self, bein of service to my HP, others, and myself, my opinions, reactions, criticisms, regrets, from thoughts that used to crowd and spin the fabric of my day, arent a factor less i go to lettin go and lettin joel. old patterns of thought with shame, fear, and resentment, are turned over for the freedoms of healthy pride, faith, and gratitude. today inventory takin is not always done in red ink. ive found that doin to others as i would have them do to me makes me always aware selflessly. livin on a spiritual beam, everythin feels right, there is no more struggle. 1 day @ a time...