my daily reflections…

i could have never imagined the freedom not drinkin or doin drugs could have given me while in the days of doin my dirt. i had always thought i was experiencin freedom because of my ability to do what i wanted, never realizin the walls or facades i was fortifyin and buildin so strongly. as my alcoholism progressed, my true freedoms diminished. these are the things recovery has shown & taught me. how could i have been so blind to the decreasin basic human rights i was so eagerly embracin. when i thought my needs were bein met, the needs my friends, family, and self, that were necessary and required, were bein blown away by my own self-centered fear and greed. in recovery i found out just how many of the freedoms i thought i had werent freedoms at all. they were self-indulged personal fears i had to protect by buildin walls so those around wouldnt see the person i truly was within. recovery taught me it was ok to be me, that i could embrace my humanness, and love the emotions i got to feel, not fear them. this thing we do labels and correctly lists the freedoms i used to think i had, but never did. recovery teaches me how to become aware of them and use them to create a new me, a person i have never known before. even as these emotions, these releasins of fear, and freedoms i get to experience were always available, i feel today they are all new to me. they are a result of the 12th steps spiritual awareness and experience. they are freedom, i aint gotta try to create new ones, they are already blessed to me by the grace of God. today i get to use them, i get to work them, i get to live them. today i thank God for the gift of imagination i get to use to enjoy and understand the freedoms im blessed to experience. ive learned that problems wont get rid of my character defects; problems expose them allowin me the freedom to overcome them in healthy ways. by facin difficulties usin the programs 12 spiritual principles, i will grow in my future freedoms yet undiscovered, emotionally, psychologically, behaviorally, and spiritually. i get to grow by my willingness to use my freedoms so i may face and rectify errors and convert them into assets. 1 day @ a time...