my daily reflections…

i look back on my journey in life and my journey in recovery and it makes me think of the contrast from today and how recovery has allowed me to be gradually transformed. ive been changed by Gods grace. ive been offered the opportunity to dig into who and what i am so i may make decisions on how i may change to become a better person. how the character buildin the 12 spiritual principles provide have given me the ability to give attention, protection, and love instead of tryin to take em from others. before i came into the rooms i thought givin up was sayin goodbye to all the fun and excitement life brought. it turned out to be just the opposite, learnin my character defects and shortcomins opened the door of courage so i could combat fear. i learned how to build good character and live humbly with the defects within. i learned how to be in love with my soul, not what i thought i should be, or what i wanted others to think i was. i learned that God didnt give me the strength and courage to get on my feet just to run back to old patterns of emotion, behavior, and thinkin. i learned how demands upon the simple things in life created a person that could never get the simple things in life. i learned how by admirin the gifts of others that i missed my own. envy only blossomed the self-esteem and self-pity problems that grew into self-resentment, self-hate, and self-anger. i learned i acted in a role of false confidence, pretendin everythin was okay. i unsuccessfully wore the mask of success, but deep within i was always waitin for the world to find out i was a fake, that somethin was missin in my life. recovery taught me to see how my role in my own self-destruction was nobodys fault but my own, and how the help of others would allow me to grow past my negative sense of self. how true tolerance of the character flaws and shortcomins, that were only mine to own, could help me build the character i had always wanted. today i get to accept the challenge of self so i may grow into a better person. i get to give attention, protection, and love, to others, and self, w/out demand. 1 day @ a time...