my daily reflections…

emotional, psychological, behavioral, and spiritual growth are each areas in my life i needed to cultivate when i came into recovery. the development of each was necessary because i had stunted each through my alcoholism. these areas are also permanent parts of my character i cannot ever let loose of or get rid of. they provide me with the significant elements/basics i need to deal with who i am within and others; they help me to interact with others, and self, by expressin the quality of how i may do so. when i came into the rooms and had progressed through the steps into step 4, i got to become familiar with my basic, real, and invariable natures. i learned how these significant individual features had been affected by my alcoholism. it was my responsibility to look into these things i found and just how i had used em to form and become who i had grown into. as ya may imagine, in my early recovery, this was hard to do. i needed the guidance of my sponsor for this deep dive. i had to truly use willingness by personally, and inwardly, consentin so i could become, and be ready, to move forward. this look into me, took grit. i had to search within relentlessly and persistently with an ongoin eagerness, readiness, and enthusiasm. a tough choice of words to use, and even more so, be. but i wanted to change, i didnt want to be who i had become any longer. so emotional, psychological, behavioral, and spiritual gardenin had to be achieved. i had to start an education on how i could use what i was findin out to become someone who wasnt immature any longer. i had to adult, DAMN IT. yes, i had to grow up in every significant individual area of my life i just mentioned. i could no longer hide with alcohol in my delinquency, or juvenile self. it meant shoulderin some shit; it meant surrenderin, acceptin, and toleratin whatever responsibility it took to move past the immaturity of the king baby syndrome i possessed. today i am a blessed one because i continue the dedication toward the discipline of responsible recovery so the healthy education of self may continue to evolve. 1 day @ a time...