my daily reflections…

its been my experience that recovery requires much action on my behalf. and the 5th step is one with which i am truly asked to step away from the ego and false pride issues ive had throughout my days of doin my dirt, openly and honestly sharin with another the dirt i found out while bein an active participant in writin my personal inventory. givin the tell of what i found within my inventory, to my sponsor, was a further attempt at honesty, humility, and integrity; lettin another person know who i was within and how i truly felt bout shit. these were things within i NEVER intended ANYBODY to hear me speak. it was a beginnin in learnin how to relax around another, how to be comfortable within my own skin, and to stop worryin about the past or the future. i could give up my resentments, hates, and tempers, and stop bein so fuckin critical of self. it also allowed me the ability to use the trust i had started developin with self, with trust in another by acceptin healthy criticism, forgiveness, and love. it helped me overcome myself and begin to further develop forgiveness of self so i could start the process of forgivin others for injuries done to me. it was another effort in overcomin my selfishness. it lent support of the concept that discoverin the differences i thought which kept me alone, when understood, became similarities that helped me bond with others. i no longer had to keep myself separate, isolated, and alone. as fearful a proposition as it was, it allowed me to start developin character i never knew i had. i was able to start reevaluatin a value system that had kept me in the throes of my alcoholism. i was opened up and introduced to a philosophy which simplified my life, particularly since the baggage of my past was startin to be cleared away. surely hadnt i begun the process of recovery as it is suggested, idk if i could have continued to move forward. i had been warned, if i wanted to achieve anythin, not to give up before the miracle happened. i look back, and this tell was most def an important piece that has kept me alive today. ive learned this isnt a part-time program for me. today, i want to live by these principles every minute. and i understand my life will reflect how successful i am in cleanin house. 1 day @ a time...