my daily reflections…

ya may have told me in the days of doin my dirt and in my early recovery how havin some kind of relationship with God could help me, but i wouldnt have listened. i had no interest. if i followed what Gods plan was, id have no fun. thats how i thought. i had to go my way, do what i wanted, think the way i thought, make shit happen by my own works. what a failure that was. even as i had some successes, the end result was always nil until i finally let go absolutely. today, i get to know, experience, and live my HPs will as best as i can. lettin the deep resentment i had, lettin em go in my 5th step tells to my sponsor, started to free me from futility and unhappiness. it opened the door for me to allow my HP and another, my sponsor, help me maintain the hope that growth away from a life of desperation could lead me to a growin spiritual experience which continues to this day. the only block still in my life is me. i must live with, and practice humility, so i may continue to grow and evolve into the integrity i seek within. holdin resentments, allowin fear to keep creatin self-centeredness, and allowin that selfishness to continue to guide me blocks me from the benefits of the program and a healthy, balanced life. if i dont or cant share what im goin through with a trusted friend in recovery, i dont get to experience the freedom thoroughness brings through the recovery process. when i become so self-indulged that i cant ask God to remove my shortcomins, i dont get to know what they are. i cant continue to live the change this thing we do offers. today, i want to know God so i can know peace. another growth opportunity comes whenever i open myself to my HPs will by talkin about what im goin through. wherever i go, there i am. in overcomin self, i get the opportunity to overcome my personal character defects and shortcomins. im a person with faults to be sure, but im basically good and gettin better. im happy to find myself whenever i get the opportunity because its an opportunity to gain experience and evolve, gettin better, acceptin self. recovery is simple, when i recognize that no matter how many times i get what i want, it always passes and changes, and i get to live into a better life. 1 day @ a time...