my daily reflections…

i cannot do or live my recovery by myself, i just aint cut like that. i tried to get sober on my own and failed. my sole will power was not sufficient. until i had suffered self-defeat to a point of death, i dont think i couldve ever surrendered. i wasnt willin to sacrifice myself to anythin or anybody. ask my family, theyll tell ya just how self-centered and selfish i had allowed my alcoholism to make me. recovery taught me that if i was to sacrifice my, self, i could become a member of a society which would help me to survive my, self. now, ya just know the inner battle of ego and pride that raged within many times in my early recovery. but with the unity of the group of trusted friends in this thing we do, i learned how surrender could allow me to sacrifice my time, and my physical bein, to somethin greater than my, self. at 1st sacrifice was toward recovery, then came the willingness to sacrifice behavior, thought, emotion, and personality, then, to my HP. i had to give everythin up. and with time, i was able to give somethin to others in my circle of friends and later the group as a whole. others taught me through their behavior and action how to sacrifice for the purpose of personal and societal survival. they included me when i had been excluded. even as much of the exclusion had been done by myself, i had to learn how to forgive and love my, self, so i could like my, self. those in recovery who came in before me taught me how to do it. they gave me unconditional forgiveness and love which in some cases turned to likin me. they gave of themselves so i could use what they had to get what i have today. and ya wanna know somethin, they still do. so, it became my turn to do it too. today, with my HP, and recovery, i get to be somebody who gives of self so others may receive the gift of recovery should they choose to have it. i get to show others how i aint gotta carry the burden of the past, by castin it off, up to my HP & recovery, and press on in faith. Sacrifice = Unity = Survival. 1 day @ a time...