my daily reflections…

just as i cannot say the exact day my alcoholism took root, i cannot say the exact day humility became a force in my life. i can say, as ive grown and evolved in my recovery the humility/humbleness ive experienced through spiritual experience has changed. i reckon the mere fact that i accepted i needed help and signed myself into a halfway house was a good start. but that doesnt even begin to express how ive matured and developed. today, i get to want humility in my life because ive learned & understand how it creates freedom and peace of mind. when back in the days of doin my dirt, under the guise of bein helpful, knowin within i could use it against who ev it was later to get i wanted, i lied to myself into believin i was bein a good humble person; subtly demandin the acknowledgement from the person i was helpin. recovery has taught and shown me how my alcoholism fooled me into the behaviors & thinkin i outwardly displayed. i reckon other turnin points happened with steps 2 & 3. watchin and listenin to others articulate how they grew humility gave me hope. throwin out lil bits of that hope to witness the return from em, grew my trust and faith in my HP. today, relyin my HP helps me feel secure, no matter what happens to me as i go through each moment of each day. learnin through recovery how virtue is better than vice, truth is better than falsehood, kindness than brutality, and how these, like love never fail, ive been able to further that humility can deepen relationships with others and help me better work out lifes problems when they occur. step 2 asks me to start believin in a Power greater than myself cause it can restore me to sanity. step 3 further asks me to make a decision to turn my life over to that Power. step 7 asks me to try, with a will, givin my shortcomins to a Power greater than me or else fall by the wayside. havin lived each step as best as i can to this stage of my progress im under heavy pressure and coercion to do the right thing if i want to profoundly change within. each steps process has developed the turnin point toward a stable, sane, and balanced practice in humility. 1 day @ a time...