my daily reflections…

as easy as it may have been to call another out for the reasons i had behaved like i did back in the days of doin my dirt, it wouldnt have helped me. it wouldve only carried forward the self-centered fear id grown accustomed to. this was an opportunity for me to face the wrongs i had done while in the presence of the ones i had harmed, not continue to live the lie i had created. i had taken the time to learn who i had truly became through diligent work with the 12 steps and it helped me to get honest with myself. it was a very painstakin process because i did not like a majority of the shit i saw on the paper in front of me. askin my HP to help me take ownership of these exceedingly difficult to swallow, character defects and shortcomins, i became honestly aware of the person i had been, damn near, all my life. usin this knowledge helped in preparin me to make the amends and reparations of my 9th step possible. i needed the strength and courage my HP provided me to sweep clean my side of the street. acceptin my part and movin forward with this phase of my development i stepped into a person i had never been before my recovery began. facin my wrongs, admittin em, and askin what i could do to make right those wrongs was a true practice in courage, integrity, willingness, and humility, somethin others hadnt ever seen before. today i am thankful for the initial step work i did. it has shaped me into the person i am today. as i felt secure in my efforts, with my HPs help, i made others aware of what i had done. it wasnt a time to deprive myself or another of the honest and deep rewards that flow from the true and meaningful self-observances recovery showed me. they were my wrongs, my harms, i forced on those who didnt deserve em. it was my responsibility to surrender, accept, and tolerate, the consequences of my past actions. from this exercise in accountability, today im less likely to commit these behaviors that scar my thinkin in the future. fortunately, recovery enhances everything. 1 day @ a time…