my daily reflections…

headin out to make any amends w/out counsel with my sponsor is just as touchin the hot flame of a stove. for me, it is even more a fools move to do it w/out prayer & meditation, and then not takin my HP with me when i make an amends. i didnt know how the people i had to make amends to would take it, or what their response to my attempts to clear away the wreckage of my past would be. but it was somethin i needed to do so i could move forward with my recovery. steps 3 & 7, helped me to prepare for this venture. by buildin a relationship with my HP i was able to start givin my problems up to Him. it was with Him, after conference with my sponsor, i felt i was able to move forward with step 9s justice. i had to build confidence with self, others, and most def in His courage and strength. i needed all of this to use faith & humility so i could approach the ones i felt i owed and amends. His protection, after experiencin it to this point in my recovery, provided me with peace of mind as i moved forward and made my approach. as i said, i didnt know what to expect when i spoke with the people i harmed, but with my HP at my side, i felt i had laid a good foundation with each of the steps so i could continue to make progress. now, what does this do for me today? havin lived through this practice of step 9 many times throughout my recovery, ive experienced that im less likely to behave and think selfishly or self-centered. i consider, without causin myself further harm, how another may react to the shit i say and do in my momentary daily life. with mornin communion, i get the confidence to move forward with my day with my HPs guidance. though i may not do shit as perfectly as i would like, the early experience with step 9 has provided me with a wisdom i get to use to remain protected with peace of mind. it is so evident to me today the difference between politely askin and demandin. as i walk in Gods love, prayin that, as i go, i get to feel the spring of Gods power in my steps and the joy of His love in my heart so i may gratefully give it away to others. today im blessed to know less and understand more. ive learned i cant do Gods will my way, i must face all, intuitively trustin Him. 1 day @ a time...