my daily reflections…

i dont get to keep receivin the gifts the promises of recovery profess if i dont continue to work toward em. just as most things in my life, an education, a job, a paycheck, relationships with others, i dont get to experience em if i do not work toward securin and maintainin em. why would the promises of recovery, or gifts my HP has to offer, be any different? throughout my life, ive been told i would get that for which i worked. the seeds i sew would come to me, whether good or bad. my personal moral inventory showed me the truth of what my life had become before my recovery began. its no wonder to me today why my life became so torrid in the last days of doin my dirt. i put nothin good into it and received nothin good from it. not so with my recovery. my focus gradually changed as i sat in the rooms in meetins and listened and watched those around me. i started wantin what they had. i was done gettin the shit back i had put into my life. i wanted somethin different and better. it no longer felt good to attack others for my own selfish wants. it was time for me to start puttin the good into my life i wanted to receive. the justice of the 9th step was functionally necessary and of significant importance within the larger process of all the spiritual principles so i could recapture a life i once thought i had lost. it was where i became accountable to the responsibility of becomin who i wanted to be. i learned all the shit talkin was done, it was time to put positive action behind the words i had always promised but rarely ever lived to completion. my serenity became directly proportional to my level of acceptance of surrender and willingness to make the necessary amends i needed to. if i was to put the work in, i would surely receive. here i am today, so many years away from my early recovery livin the rewards and materialization of the work i put into my recovery so long ago. recovery by proxy is what i get to live today when i continue puttin into it the essential work to get the good out of it. ive learned not to expect too much from the world but be content with the rewards that come from servin my HP and those i had harmed. 1 day @ a time...