my daily reflections…

ive learned that many of the events in my life do not happen by mistake. sure, there are random situations and circumstances that happen which i have little or no control over, but that doesnt mean that i dont set events in motion by mere presence, behavior, or action. i learned through personal inventorys that through the behavior and thinkin i did shit to others without even a realization i was hurtin them whether emotionally or psychologically. i was just livin, goin through the motions, believin that it was just how life was lived. i took no responsibility for much of what had happened. recovery taught me that i had acted and often reacted without regard to how i might affect another. greed, selfishness, and self-centered fear had me tryin to protect a self-image that was not healthy. justice for those actions, behaviors, and thinkin, found through inventory needed to be set aright. even the shit i had done that i never realized i did, needed to be brought to light. expressin these actions and thinkin to others, not pointin out anythin i felt they may have done, was a task i needed my sponsors wisdom for. i needed to sort out my amends so that the blame train i so wanted to ride, wouldnt be boarded. it was my action, my thinkin, my behavior, to protect my inner self that was my responsibility to tell. then askin the other how, or what, i needed to do to make right these actions accurate, or fair, so they may be set right, was a responsibility i needed to do no matter the consequences to me. it was time for me to take responsibility for the well-bein of others. with my eye made single, focused on another with brotherly love and justice, i began a life which could be lived in the light of the best that i was beginnin to know. i not only owed it to myself but owed it, to them. i had to utilize the steps and thoroughly followed through. the express elevator to serenity or peace of mind couldnt be used, i had to rely on the 12 spiritual steps of recovery. today, i get to live with freedom and a kind heart of mind because of this inner, and outer, personal work. i get to seek in all things the advance of His kingdom, seek the spiritual values of honesty and purity, unselfishness and love, and earnestly desire spiritual growth. 1 day @ a time...