my daily reflections…

when i took my initial inventory and had written every despicable, dirty deed, i could find about myself on paper in black and white, in easy-to-read good ol fashioned corn fed not inbred michigan white trash, i had a bazillion reservations about ever tryina share it with anybody. but recovery told me, then showed me, then promised me, that if i didnt share all that shit i had written with another, i was doomed to repeat it all over again in various ways. so, i unloaded all that shit onto my sponsor. he then told me that there was more to my inventory than writin all about the dirt i had done. and boy had i done some dirt. he asked me to write about the good things i had done as well. he said surely not every wakin minute of every single day had i done wrong, and i needed to make myself aware of that fact without an unhealthy ego or boastful pride that made me out to be better than i was. it was a practice in humility to learn. from this exercise i was able to learn that there had been good in me. that my HP had been with me even when i couldnt or wouldnt realize it. it offered me an opportunity to try to practice and grow the good character i had so i could further grow and evolve the character i needed which i didnt have. it was yet another lesson in gratitude too. as mentioned prior it showed me how i needed to have thankfulness and show it to my HP through practicin my recovery toward other people, not just keepin it all for myself. i was able to learn how gratitude was an act of love for all in my life concerned. i learned how not to limit Gods power by my lack of vision. how by keepin my mind open today to His influence, i could have and give gratitude and brotherly love without reservation. 1 day @ a time...