my daily reflections…

with the idea of a spiritual axiom i get to look into myself and finger out whats goin on. in the past i didnt want to, i felt i didnt need to. but as recovery has shown me, then taught me, it was in those times i would become reliant upon the oblivion alcohol provided so i didnt have to look within to see the ugly i thought/knew was there. recovery taught me the meanin of spiritual, relatin to, or consistin of spirit; incorporeal. it taught me the definition of axiom, a self-evident truth that requires no proof. combinin the two words brought me to an understandin that within there was an immaterial principle that was evident when ev i felt all twisted up inside. i didnt understand then, in the days of doin my dirt, why this would happen. i always felt it was because of the happenins goin on around me, outside of me, because of someone or somethin else. in recovery i learned that even though an outside source may have been a catalyst for the inside emotion or feelin, i could use it as an impetus to fixin the problem within. early in my recovery, and still today, when ev i feel that stirrin within, i must investigate it because the consequences of not are injurious to myself and others. its my understandin today that my HP allows me to feel my humanness so He can guide me toward solutions to the problems that may have arisen which cause me to show my ass. so, ive learned through recovery that i can use what it teaches to grow within and work the imperfect humanness which i used to struggle with, relyin on alcohol to solve the problem. i do not need that today because recovery has, again, shown me, then taught me, methods to overcome self, my self-centeredness. i can use the bonds of true fellowship, so i may be brought closer to unity with God and other people. something i would have never done before because of fear and loneliness. it is with the principle of brotherly love, i can become willin enough to be humble so i can speak out to others and share whats goin on within. i can express my inner fears and gain resolution through a shared common goal. one which provides an answer that does not include the use of alcohol. 1 day @ a time...