my daily reflections…

recovery taught me a healthy sense of personal responsibility, somethin i didnt have before it began. sure mannn, i paid my bills and kept a job, i had to have some place to live and a way to pay for my alcohol and drugs back in the days of doin my dirt. but in time as my alcoholism skewed my thinkin, then later my behavior, my job went away and later my place to stay. and as my alcoholism evolved and grew, the responsibilities i once had, grew less and less. to think that i could ever, or, would ever, own up to my poor actions in the latter days of doin my dirt, ya’ll would be sadly mistaken. my early recovery taught me much, i learned how to behave my way into better thinkin. and wouldnt ya know it, as the miracle of recovery changed me from the inside out, i began to become responsible enough to accept the consequences of my actions. when i take a daily inventory i set my ass up for success. with a simple effort and a lil honesty, faith, and courage, i get to find out how ive allowed my humanness to run my life. with the knowledge of the character i may have displayed, i then have the opportunity to work toward solutions. recovery gave me a healthy conscious, one that wasnt geared toward self-pity or self-loathin. i learned how to be accountable for action or words id done or said, and then accept the consequences for them. it taught me that i needed to be aware of others and not live like a selfish ass hole, somethin i had done all my life. inventory showed me the reasons i had done this and the continuance of that inventory is what step 10 is all about. its the perseverance and continuance of livin a program not based unhealthily of self, but healthily of self. recovery taught me how to have honest and true tolerance and understanding. how to keep striving for these difficult things, even when i didnt want to with daily inventory. to have done a thorough inventory once was tough enough. it was a learnin experience on how i could do it later in my recovery process with balanced and honest emotional, psychological, behavioral, and spiritual integrity. it is a necessary and healthy intuition today. 1 day @ a time...